Sept 18th marked a full year since I made the switch from my previous gym to CrossFit Newtown. I was terrified, to say the least. Losing weight wasn’t a top priority for me, becoming stronger was. I believe when I first started I told Kate, “I don’t want to lose weight. I want to be a badass.”
There’s truth in that statement though. I have two young daughters and I want them to have a healthy, strong mom, rather than a mom who is always “dieting” and complaining about how “fat” she is.
Other than my family and some longtime close friends, not many people know that I struggled with anorexia and bulimia for almost 9 years before I finally went into recovery. My lowest weight was 92 lbs, and at 5′ 4″ tall, believe me, it’s not a good look. I was never shown by example how to eat, or stay active to be physically healthy. We didn’t live on take-out and junk food, but there just wasn’t a proper understanding of how we should eat.
My parents are not overweight, but my mother was on and off this or that “diet” throughout my entire adolescence. The pressure she put on herself to lose weight or be “thin” reflected on me, and was one of a few catalysts that lead me to develop an eating disorder at the age of 12. Never in a million years did my mother think that would happen, nor do I blame her. Pressure to be “thin” is everywhere. Over the past 11 years, I’ve educated myself on how to eat/live in a healthy manner, and my relationship with food is a healthy one.
I weigh more now than I ever have in my life (excluding both of my pregnancies) and I could not be happier.
I’m not perfect, but my body is physically in better shape now than it has ever been. In the past year, since starting at CFN, I’ve gained 7 lbs. In all honesty, it’s taken quite some time to mentally adjust and realize that I am gaining muscle, not fat.
Today, I decided to try on a shirt I purchased last January. I bought it without trying it on, thinking it would fit. Wrong. Let’s just say, it was a bit tight. So, my plan this morning was to donate it, along with some other clothes. I decided oh what the hell, I’ll try it on. …The shirt fits. SHUT.THE.FRONT.DOOR. I might never take it off.
Whew… with all of that said, I just wanted to say thank you, to all of you. Thank you for being so welcoming, encouraging and truly awesome coaches. Mike, you’re there every morning at 6am pushing me out of my comfort zone and helping me to become stronger than I thought I would ever be. Thanks, Coach.
I’m proud to call CrossFit Newtown my home away from home, and blessed to have gained not only strength over the past year, but an amazing group of people I call my friends.